in the end, i would still need to rely on this blog
23/4/2026 After such a long duration, the feeling comes and go. But this time the feeling stayed for longer, after liquidation of the main company, i find myself trap in this new restaurant again. And what is an easy fix, turns into a shit struggle. Im finding myself less and less patience, and more and more easily angered, the feeling of emptiness and doesnt want to be here anymore, existence is just an nuisance, im finding ways to get a motivation of a target and stop thinking negatively, but it all ends in vein, im trying to keep myself together while the inner is crumbling away. I dare not to talk to anyone about this, but i must find a way to push it out. The feeling in my brain is getting worsen day by day, cooking and eating food no longer can help me run away from the stupid feeling in my brain, wanting to decide the ultimate outcome of myself. Getting less sleep now due to the restaurant, but also, my wife, couldn't give her what she wants and slowly im trying to avoid and...